The bubbles raised above the murky surface. The steam swirled above me head. With careful practice i lowered a vial into the strange concotion.
It began to bubble fiercly and then began to settle. Yes it's working. Finally my years of studies have paid off. This solution once
fully settled will be able to counter act my ageing process so that i will love forever. I just need to drink this potion once every full moon and
immortality is mine. My years of heartbreak will be over. No more will i be bound to this mortal realm. I could become a king in a grand kingdom.
Or a wizard learned in all arcane arts. Even a master smith or craftsman. Or i could delve into the studies of swordplay and cavalry and become
a knight. Or i could do them all. With time on my side no one can stop me except for myself. Since i alone know the counter solution. And i alone guard it sealed inside
my body. And the only way to get that is to kill me which is impossible since im immortal. Hahahaha Yes my plan is perfect. I can do all the things i dreamed about when i was a kid.
And the one thing which my parents never wanted me to be. A baker. Yes my dreams filled of sweats, tarts, pies, and many other delicious things to fill a hungry mouth.
I will be able to learn how to craft my desires to forge my cake. And construct my dreams into reality. Oh yes i will be able to bake until i can longer bake no more
and then bake when i wake up and bake until sun down.
I saw that the potion had slowed. Finally it was ready. I giggled as i dipped my cup into the puce coloured soquid. I almost dropped my cup into my cauldron in my giggling fit.
I dont know if giggling changed the mixture so i tried to contain myself. I put the horrible smelling soquid to my lips. And then i almost puked it smelt horrible. This every month.
This is more of an eternal nightmare than immortality. I plugged my nose and swallowed a tiny bit. My stomach started swirling. Like something was growing inside. I went over to the
banister and spewed the horrible precious puce coloured soquid into the nights cool air. The drops almost froze on there way to the ground. Which was partly on the outside temperature
and partly the height of the large tower i was in.
I remembered why i had came so far. My wife died three years ago and ever since i wanted to make a potion of immortality. So that i would not have to disappoint my loved ones. I would never
have to see there sad faces as i succumbed to the effects of old age. i would never have to lay bed ridden for months or longer un able to do the things i loved.
No I will drink this potion for myself and for my family. I put my game face on which was also a frowny face because the smell of the potion by now was horrible. I walked over. I dipped my
cup again into the soquid. And i chugged it down. And then nothing.
But not for long. Then i was thrown onto the ground. And i woke up in my bed. My children were all around me. I knew something was wrong. And when i looked down. I realised that something
in the potion must have gone wrong. Because instead of stopping me from ageing it increased my ageing. I was a shrivelled old man. I tried to scream but my voice box didn't seem to work.
They realized i was panicking but then just as i was about to write down the last ingredient that needed to be added to the potion to reverse its effects. My heart gave out and i died.
Noooo. Even though my desire to see my wife again would be fulfilled. I would never get to be a baker. At least my child caleb showed interest in baking. Maybe one day. Maybe
His wounded heart was healed but his dreams were broken forever. Because caleb never really showed promise to become a baker.
The end
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Format: Epistolic. Genre: Mystery. Content: Today. (by Dima)
The
following is a real exchange of SMS (short message service) text messages that
occurred on September 9th, 2014.
The content has remained unredacted, and matches in every aspect the
logs extracted from the carrier databases on October 27th,
2014. The log entries have been placed
in chronological order for coherence.
(DUNH DUNH)
(DUNH DUNH)
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 10:33
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To: 58777658989
Subject:
Body: hey kar-kar whats up
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 10:39
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To: 7802161180
Subject:
Body: Hey!
Just got out of class early! And
no more classes today! Yay!
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 10:40
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: What are you up to?
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 10:42
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To:
7807658989
Subject:
Body: not much just at work kinda freaky
right now
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 10:43
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Why what’s going on?
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 10:45
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To:
5877658989
Subject:
Body: not sure lights just went out at
work. nobodys saying anything i cant here anybodyy. im getting a little scared
lol
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 10:48
Edmonton, AB Carrier: TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Ha ha, wow that is scary. Lights went out at the bank, huh? Someone’s cut the power to rob the vault ha
ha ;)
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 10:54
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Lights back on yet? Or do you have flashlights there?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:00
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Hello, Dallin! Lights back on yet?
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 11:02
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To:
5877658989
Subject:
Body: o crap karen im so freaked out right
now shes stomping all over teh place and growling an i think she nos were i am.
she heard my phone buzz im hiding under the desk now idunno if she can see the
light
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:03
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: WhaT!? Who is she?
Do should i call the police?
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 11:04
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To:
7807658989
Subject:
Body: its my manager kelly shes yelling
something yes pleez call come help me!!!!
From: 7802161180
09-09-2014 11:05
Edmonton, AB Carrier: BELL MOBILITY
To:
5877658989
Subject:
Body: yelling dla
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:05
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: holy cow! What bank are you at? Where do I send the police?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:08
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Dallin answer me where do I send
them! What’s dla?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:10
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Dallin I’m coming over. Bonnie Doon bank, right?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:13
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: DALLIN
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:16
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I’m on the bus I looked up DLA on
investopedia. Does that stand for
delegated lending authority?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:23
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I called 911 and they won’t
listen. I’m still coming.
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:29
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body:
Dallin I’m outside the bank and the doors are closed. It’s dark inside? Are you still in there? How can I get in?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:30
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I’m just going to keep texting,
ok? So I found a piece of paper halfway
sticking out under the front door. It’s
got your name on it and the name Kelly Lewis on it and it talks about dollar
limits for loans.
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:32
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I’m not sure what this means. I’m knocking.
Can you hear me?
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:41
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I just took a look at your
blog. I never read it ‘cause banking’s
boring. Ha ha. I’m sorry I said I read
it.
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:42
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: You wrote something about a Credit
Excellence Seminar at the main branch today.
You said people were going crazy over it. That’s a weird thing to say about loan
workshops.
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:45
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: I’m going to main branch. I don’t know where you are but I’m going to
find you.
From: 5877658989
09-09-2014 11:46
Millet, AB Carrier:
TELUS MOBILITY
To:
7802161180
Subject:
Body: Banking’s still boring.
The
log entries ended at this point. Karen
McGillavray’s phone was found in the hand of the dead man, Grigoire Levartecez. Last known sighting was at the Edmonton
International Airport; audio recordings report her mumbling, “DLA... DLA... I
know where he’s going.”
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
How the world ends in two hours on one page, by Dima
As challenged by Aleksei.
Don’t go
seeking out new gods if you don’t know what you want them for.
Gods always
have their own plans and their own designs and their own ideas of ‘ultimate
purpose’, and they don’t often think too much about explaining any of it to
anyone before they’ve already started down their path because, hey, who would
really understand anyway?
I’d like to
lay the blame at the feet of the Cutting Edge Theosophical Society. Once they determined that, yes, gods were substantial,
corporeal beings, and, as intellectually fascinating as it was to think
otherwise, they really did exist in normal space and time, the buffoons
decided, in the name of advancement and science and discovery, to entice them
to make an appearance here. They had no
idea what they’d do once the appearance was made, but furthering human
knowledge, they said, was a worthy goal in and of itself.
Jake
Winchester had scarcely finished setting the last stick of incense on the
obsidian altar when they appeared. It
was a bit more than the Society members had bargained for – a pantheon of 20
previously unknown deities materialized in a blinding flash.
MaryJo
Wetthers-Penting had just enough time to gasp, and then the whole group was
consumed and turned to ash in the radiant godly glory. So, too, was the entire building. And the whole of Bristol, for that matter.
The gods
never bothered to make any sort of announcement – they never do – before they
rose up into the sky to survey this new world.
It became immediately apparent that whatever god had been in charge
previously had had everything backwards.
No, this would not do at all for their purposes. Everything must be reversed.
So, within
minutes, they put mountains where once laid vast stretches of ocean. And the land masses were promptly replaces by
seas; that took care of humanity, and thank goodness we don’t have to hear
anymore about them. The lava that
eventually formed the new mountains managed to boil away most of the water on
the planet, and the whole process put out enough to toxic gas to poison the
whole atmosphere. So, of course, that
had to be vented, and in a moment of combined divine will, the gases encircling
the planet were whisked away to engulf some other satellite. But that’s another story.
It was
anything glorious, and it certainly didn’t involve any splendor of nature, but
it was a re-creation. Almost all life,
of course, withered and crumbled under the newly intense rays of the sun, or,
in the case of what few organisms had been able to maintain a spot under the
seas, melted and stuck in clumps to the crust of the earth. Not all old was replaced with new. The ghee mites, pulled upward by the venting of
the heavens and no longer oppressed in their growth by that pesky atmospheric
pressure, swelled an hundredfold and encircled the earth, there to orbit for a
thousand years.
The gods
were pleased. Their holy rock – a whole
planet of an altar – would lay sanctified and undefiled and protected by the
mites for the rest of time. Here, at
last, was a creation that would not require intervention.
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
How Supervillains See the World: An Exercise in Description by Lenitschka
The exercise: Look at a landscape, describe it through the eyes of a character, but do not describe the scene. My assignment from Dima - a super villain from another galaxy who has just arrived on earth to kill everyone and suck dry all our natural resources.
Magnificent, wasn’t it?
The power of it, the majesty, the sheer volume that lay before me.
A radiant yellow light
glazed the surface below, another example of the sheer force of this place. Such
a light could cause weaker men to collapse, or even burn, but not I.
You could feel it
everywhere. I could hear it churning in the ground far below; raw and ready for
the first person who could harness it. Such minerals to be wasted on mere
mortals.
I could feel it whipping
across my face with a harshness that left weaker beings cowering. The air
looked still, but this far above it never stopped moving.
The mighty rocks stood
far above the rest, just as I did; another symbol of power. Tall and immovable,
until now that is.
Water.
Air.
Earth.
Fire.
Mine for the taking.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Burnt Tongue, An Epic Poem in Four Parts by Lenitschka
Side note: this is the backstory to one of Jonathan's poems
Part 1
That sip of tea was
really hot
I think my tastebuds
like it not
But then I want to be
polite
So I raise my cup and
try I might
To drink yet one more
scalding sip
I hesitate, then purse
my lips.
I cannot take one more
swig, no no
Too bad; all eyes are on
me in slow mo
And so I drink as I know
I must
My tastebuds, however,
have bit the dust.
Part 2
Three days since I sat
at Eugene’s table
And still I eat and am
not yet able
To savour a steak, a
cookie, or ice cream
My favourite foods seem
but a dream
For I cannot taste it,
none of it
It slips down my throat
bit by bit
And I enjoy none, not
one swallow.
My belly is full, yet I
feel hollow.
Curse you, Eugene, and
your scalding tea.
I will avenge what you
have done to me.
Part 3
Outside his parlour I do
wait,
A scalding beverage will
be my bait
I lay outside my enemies
door, then hide
He will come when I lure
him outside
He hears the alarm and
Eugene comes running
Haha, no challenge to my
cunning
He finds at his door my
cup and saucer
Then picks it up, the
silly tosser.
And soon he chokes and
falls down sick,
As befits a tea of
arsenic.
Part 4
Perhaps I should not have
been so proud
Or at least not quite so
loud
In my complaints against
the dearly departed
My arrest was made
before the autopsy started
My lawyer also could
make no convincing case
When I cackled evilly in
the judge’s face
So now I set in cell
block three
Drinking thoroughly
lukewarm tea.
And I am happy.
Great Expectations, by Dima
Bad Poetry Night Returns!
La dolcezza divora
l'amarezza della mia vita.
It’s amazing how
and I tremble now
the once-sweet life
once sweet, now strife
and I call it all bologna.
If I were to stop the tears
I would have to face all fears
I see again how sparse
the life, the life is farce
Progress razed by a zamboni.
Live to eat, not eat to live
there’s nothing that I wouldn’t
give
I’ll take you back
I’d trade my snack
if all were not so phony.
But now I’m lost
I see the cost
I drown my melancholy in this cream
and hope that I will waken from
this dream
I swim inside the tank of
delicious, whipped, Italian sp...rinkles of nuts and fruity ripples of frozen
dessert.
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