Death by Choking on a Small Object - by Sasha

“Oh Matthew, are you sure about this?”

“Come on, Patty, I come here all the time.”

The door, a small wooden rectangle surrounded by dusty red panelling, bore a small, green sign reading ‘Mr. Mac’s Burgers.’ Old, flaky paint depicted a picture of a cheeseburger underneath the garish yellow letters, in case the point didn’t already get across.

“It looks awfully dirty,” Patricia remarked disdainfully.

“It’s called a dive,” Matt pointed out. “They’re supposed to be dirty. It’s part of the charm.”

Patricia shuddered as Matt touched the greasy door handle and stepped inside. The woman, dressed in an impeccable yellow skirt and cream blouse, was careful not to touch any part of the door or frame as she tiptoed across the threshold.

If the bedraggled patrons of the restaurant thought it strange for someone dressed like Patricia to walk into their mangy downtown burger joint, they didn’t show it. Two men with scraggly beards and plaid shirts were playing poker at one of the tables, and a woman was snoring at a booth at the back of the room. A greasy, balding man with a wispy blonde mustache and a round belly stood behind the baby blue counter, wiping it down with a rag that looked even dirtier than the rest of the store. As soon as he saw Matt walk in, his eyes lit up.

“Mattie, my boy!” he exclaimed boisterously. “And… who’s this?” He looked Patricia quickly up and down, then shot Matt a surprised look.

“This is Patricia,” Matt said. “Patty, this is Merle.”

“Pleased ta meet ya,” said the old man, offering a grease covered hand.

“Yes, it’s – a pleasure,” Patricia hesitantly replied. She pressed her small hand quickly into Merle’s, gave one small shake, and then quickly withdrew, pulling a white handkerchief from her purse and wiping her hand down.

“Not from around here, are you?” Merle asked.

“No, I’m afraid not,” said Patricia. “This is the first time Matt and I have met up outside of school. I was anxious to meet his – er – friends.”

“He ain’t got many friends, I can tell you that,” said Merle, gesturing grandly to the nearly empty restaurant and chuckling to himself. “Naw, I’m just kidding,” he said after a moment, clapping a hand on Matt’s shoulder and winking. “Mattie’s got plenty of friends – you know, the gangsters and the hookers, that sort of lot.”

Patricia looked confused but Merle burst into laughter and Matt shot him a dirty look. “He’s kidding,” he reassured Patricia, who in turn pretended to giggle.

“Anyway, what can I get for you?”

“Er – a burger?” Patricia chanced.

“Well of course I’ll get you a burger,” Merle said. He leaned in a little closer so Patricia could see his row of yellowing teeth. “The question is what kind ya want,” he said with a wink.

“Um –”

“You can get the supreme,” Matt chimed in. “You like all the normal things on burgers, right? Cheese, bacon, pickles, lettuce, mayonnaise, you know.”

“Yes, I’ll have that,” Patricia agreed.

“Perfect!” exclaimed Merle, so loudly that the woman at the back of the restaurant turned over and stopped snoring momentarily. “And the usual for you, Mattie?”

“You got it,” the boy replied. Merle turned and left through a pair of stain-covered double doors to what Patricia could tell just from the slightly sickening smell must be the kitchen.

“You wanna sit down?” Matt asked.

Patricia glanced at the baby blue stools next to the counter, most of which appeared to be covered in ominous red and yellow stains. However, upon quickly glancing about the rest of the restaurant, she could see that she wouldn’t find anything better.

“Sure,” she said quietly. She pulled out the handkerchief from her purse again and quickly wiped down the nearest seat before sitting down as lightly as possible. Matt sat down much less hesitantly on the stool beside her.

“I know it’s not exactly your kind of place – ” Matt began.

“No, it’s perfectly fine,” said Patricia, a little too calmly. “It’s – quaint.”

“I just didn’t really want to go to your parent’s place. You know, I didn’t think they’d –”

“Approve of you?” Patricia asked. For a moment she lost her haughty air and let out a sigh. “Of course they’d approve of you, Matthew. Just because you don’t come from the same place that we do doesn’t mean they’d think any less of you. You’re a wonderful person, you know, and –”

“Burgers are ready!” Merle exclaimed, reemerging with a bang from the kitchen.

“That was quick,” Patricia remarked.

“One supreme for the lady,” Merle announced, placing a tray bearing the largest burger Patricia had ever seen right in front of her. “And one flamethrowin’ hogspittin’ moonwalkin’ Kansas for Mr. Matthew.” Patricia couldn’t quite tell if Matthew’s tray contained a burger or just a pile of reddish-brown sauce.

“Thanks,” said Matthew, and Merle gave him one of his signature winks.

“Here it goes, I suppose,” Patricia said, biting down into her burger.

It was quite possibly the best burger Patricia had ever tasted in her life. She couldn’t hope to describe the particular flavor of the combination of cheese, beef, and no doubt hundreds of other processed ingredients that made their way past her tastebuds into her stomach. Once she took the first bite, all thoughts of her previous conversation with Matthew were put on hold, as she simply could not stop eating the delectable treasure that she had been offered at the greasiest, dirtiest dive she had ever entered in her life. She took bite after bite, quickly devouring the beast of a burger, practically inhaling the thing until suddenly she spluttered, spraying bits of pickles and onions all over the counter.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked.

Patricia couldn’t answer. She couldn’t make any noise. She placed her hands around her throat in the universal symbol, and stumbled off of her stool, trying to expel the small piece of burger that had lodged itself in her windpipe.

“Patricia?” Matt said again, rather stupidly. The girl reached out to him with one hand, clutching her neck with the other.

Matthew didn’t make a move to help the poor girl. Merle had already made his way back into the kitchen. The two men playing poker looked up once from their game before returning to their business, and the woman in the back of the room continued to slumber on.

Patricia’s eyes were wide, and if she was angry or shocked, Matt couldn’t tell. He simply watched as the pretty young woman continued to struggle, slowly bending over further and further until she fell to the ground, shook for a few more moments, and then stopped.

“Merle!” Matt called.

The fat owner made his way out of the kitchen, holding an enormous butcher’s knife. “Oh, it was really that easy?” the chef asked. He placed the knife on the counter and proceeded to wrench the pearl necklace and earrings off of the girl’s body before picking up her purse. “Help me move her, would ya Mattie?”

Matt took Patricia’s ankles and Merle took her hands. They made their way into the grimy, smelly kitchen and tossed her lifeless corpse into the deep freeze. Matt wiped his hands on his jeans once the job was done.

“You got your eye on anyone else?” Merle asked.

“Oh I don’t know,” Matt said. “There’s this pretty girl in my geography class who says she’s never been to this part of town before…”